Happiness?

So, we moved to Jackson Hole.
This is not the first move for our little family, and it will probably not be the last. But for some reason, this move has a lot more permanance to it than the past ones. Maybe it has something to do with driving cross country in a moving van with all of my earthly possessions in tow.
Watching the time zones change, the trees change, the landscape get flatter and wider and snowier... I don't know. But whatever the reason, this move feels real. And until last night I wasn't sure how to feel about that.
I will admit I have been struggling.
See, ever since I graduated from college I have not really felt settled.
I've gone from NYC to Knoxville to NYC to Atlanta to Knoxville to NYC to Kingsport to NYC to Crossville to NYC... Beginning to see a pattern? The one constant in my life for the last eight years has been New York. And now that security blanket, the one stable place is only on the Today Show and in my Red Dress Press novels. And I'll admit to being a state of withdrawal.
What about Michael? Yes, he's been a constant in my life too. But, he's also been the source of all this constant upheaval. Not that every move has not been a joint decision, it has, but in the end, each move has been based on what we feel would be best for his career or his happiness or his home life. Bad jobs, work stresses, bad neighbors, work aspirations.... each of these have led to new jobs, new aspirations, new homes... always seeking the next best thing, bigger and better, elusive happiness. And I, have foolishly thought that I could base my own happiness on the happiness of my husband. Always believing that this next dream would finally bring that smile to his face and that would project onto me and I too would be happy.
But even now, in this place that he has dreamed of now for eight years, will happiness finally be ours?
I keep catching small glimpses of it.
A twinkle in his eye when he looks at the sun rising over the Tetons on our morning drive, a small laugh when the dogs tackle each other in the snow, a quiet sigh when he sips his local beer at the brewpub...
Is it enough? I don't know, I guess we will just have to wait and see. I am trying though to not mess this up. Because even though I am homesick and lonely and sad... I still hope that happiness will win out. That his heart will once again fill up and be able to sustain me on all these cold snowy nights. I hope that we will both be able to find our way out here in this extremely foreign and rugged and frigidly cold land.
And that we will both be happy.