Never stick it in the freezer

Ok, so a few months ago I received a letter from my airline saying that the company was going to have to reduce the number of active flight attendants by 2500 and that I would possibly be affected by this involuntary furlough. In an attempt to reduce these numbers voluntary furlough packages would be offered. Blah blah blah. Stuck the letter in the freezer because it couldn't get me from in there.
So, a package was offered, 1300 flight attendants took it, I got a phone call, "you may still be furloughed..." Another package was offered, 650 flight attendants took it, another phone call, you and 262 other flight attendants ARE furloughed as of May 1.
I am now OK with this. I am even a little excited about this. Already planning on enjoying my little summer vacation collecting unemployment, already planning on visiting family, going to Aruba with my sister, playing with the dogs, going back to school... planning planning planning. Well, there is an old Jewish expression, "The best way to make God laugh is to make plans."
Sitting with Michael this morning, Saturday, fucking April 8, phone rings. "Hi! This is Debbie from Dipshit Airlines! Just wanted to share the good news with you! In case you hadn't heard, we offered one last opportunity for flight attendants to leave on their own and we had over two hundred take it, so no one is going to be furloughed! Isn't that unbelievable?!"
"Yes, yes Debbie it most certainly is." I may wet myself from the shock. I truly cannot believe it, that will teach me. That damn freezer has magical powers.
Bye bye summer vacation, hello hell.