If the South Would've Won...

I never appreciated growing up in the South until I moved to a place so removed from all things Southern that sometimes I feel like I am on another planet. I took so many simple things for granted in Tennessee and now, these simple things seem so precious and sacred that I almost cry just thinking of them.
What I wouldn't give for a driveway and a guaranteed parking spot. A grocery store with normal sized buggies would be Heaven to me... And Cracker Barrel, boy do I miss Cracker Barrel (and Waffle House and Hardees, yes, we have Carl Jr, but it's just not the same...)
Men holding doors open for women and people who actually say excuse me when they accidentally bump into you instead of 'Watch it Bitch!' as they barrel their way down the sidewalk.
Apple jelly and biscuits with gravy. Country music radio stations. Oh and people who speak English! (We are, after all in America. When, might I ask, did Spanish become the official language of the United States?)
And what ever happened to clogging? I distinctly remember clogging being a class each year in school. Up here kids take English as a second language and sex education for health.
I just can't take it. My sensibilities are really being put to the test. I am beginning to feel a sick connection to the main character in 'Fallen Down.' I can so totally understand his need to just annihilate all of the evil people around him.
I miss the simple life.
I miss complaining about the traffic on Kingston Pike and on having to take the interstate to my mom's because there was construction on Middlebrook.
I miss going to Ryan's after church on Sunday and then going to the mall to walk off the buffet.
I miss opening the back door to let my dogs out and then sitting on the back porch watching the fireflies light up the back yard. My own personal light show.
I miss ordering tea and having to specify that I wanted it 'unsweetened' and knowing that it would be delivered with ice and not in a mug.
I miss my mom and my family and my cats...
I just really want to go home, just go back to normal.